My father is over 70 years old. He used to live with me and my family until six months back. He had been with us since I got married four years ago. He has been separated from his wife - my mother - for six years due to his bad behavior. Six months ago he sexually harrassed my brother-in-law's wife at my home, offending her greatly. On another occasion, he did the same with my wife's cousin. In the end, my wife was deeply troubled and we came close to a separation. Now my feelings towards my father have changed. I will never feel safe with him in the house. What should be the Islamic way of handling this situation? Should I allow him to come back into my home?
Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân `Alûsh
I would like to advise you to be patient as it is very bad for a son to expel his father or mother from his house. Allah says: “Yet bear their company in this life with justice (and consideration).”
Pray to Allah to guide him. Introduce him to some people of knowledge. He may recognize his bad deed. You should be a good example for him. If you engage yourself in the good deeds of praying, fasting and reciting of the Qur’ân, he may feel the good atmosphere of your house as he has never known it before.
If you really fear that he may approach your household, then beware of leaving him alone with them in the house. If, however, you fear that his presence is a trial that is too difficult for your family to bear, you can provide your father with seperate accomodations and not allow him to reside in the same home with your family.
Keep in mind, though, that a father deserves good treatment from his son even if he is bad. Ibn `Abbas related: “Any Muslim who has Muslim parents and he treats them good every day, Allah will open for him two doors to Paradise, one door for each parent. If he upsets one of them, Allah will not be pleased with him until the parent is pleased with him.”
Someone asked: "What if they oppress him?"
He said: “Even if they oppress him.” [Related by al-Bukhârî in al-Adab al-Mufrid]